Fitting in! Advise from the excluded!

We are drawn to groups. We all have a desire to fit in. It seems to me that churches should be easier to fit into. But just like in high school there are different groups that form and some are excepted in and some feel like they are on the outside looking in. How does that happen in the place that is supposed to be so inclusive? If we are excluding people from feeling like they belong then are we guilty of judging? Judging who should be excepted is a sin. Christ died for all and if we limit that we are guilty of choosing who receives salvation and who doesn't. But you are probably thinking, I don't exclude people if someone feels left out it is not my fault. Our actions can be fences that say, "Keep out, this means you." If we don't see this in our lives but someone gives us a hint that it just might be there, then rather than disregarding the idea we need to explore it. Ask yourself some questions to see if it could be true. Like, do I ignore people or evade them? Do I have a standard that says if you dress, talk or act different than me then you don't belong in my group? Teenagers do this a lot but I wanted to focus more on the adults. Do we create barriers that will keep certain people from being included?

How do I fix this if I find it in my life? There are somethings that we can do but they all take a conscious effort. First, try to put yourself in their shoes. Understanding how it feels to be left out makes us aware of how people can be pushed away by our Acton's. Next, try to think of what it would take to include that person. Making them feel important, making them feel comfortable can bridge the exclusion gap. Last, it may take talking to others in the group about how others see them. We must work together in including others. If you find this in your church it then becomes your responsibility to do something about it.