Into the deep unknown.

I look back over my Blog titles and I should have seen it coming. The slipping into murky water. You know what I am talking about, like when you look into a pond that has a green scum on it and you wonder how deep it is or what lurks beneath the slim. Have you ever been in that position? Waiting to see if your next step will be your last and then the mud sucks you under. Moving slowly into the unknown. I guess that is where we are residing in these times. The only stable thing that we can hang on to like a vine hanging down from the trees above is the hand of God... We'll Talk later!!!

Ouch!

I can't remember ever having this much emotional pain. Wow I did not see this coming. I sure feel like I have been blindsided. I have seen less damage on when animals attack. I am bleeding inside. I hurt because someone thinks so little of me. It is one thing to fail when you have not tried, but to fail in someones sight and you have poured your blood, sweat and tears into the process and then be chopped off at the base. I feel used and discarded like a door mat that is long past it's prime. Wow how must have Jesus felt when they disposed of His efforts. I search my self for any validity to their claims. Am I that bad? Have I failed to the point of no return, and meaning well all along. Am I so dense that I can't see that maybe they might be right. The only clear view from all this is that I am just the head of a so called failing church. There are those who were attacked right along with me and they don't even know it. We are called Biblically illiterate because of me of course. We don't measure up because we don't know the scriptures like we should. That is my fault to because I don't teach them in the right way. Bla,Bla, blaa, Blaaaa. Many words to say I am bleeding from an attack from someone that i thought was a friend. A brother in Christ. At one time I considered him a confidon. Ouch! It Hurts. Thank you Lord that I know my call is sure because by this persons advise I should go back to working on airplanes. Jesus how do you love like you do? I don't want to even though i told then I did love them. Forgive me God!

December already!!!!

I can't believe it. It was just October yesterday. I am finding that the speed of time has grown exponentaially and we can no longer keep up. We run out of time constantly and we are in deep trouble when it comes to a fulfilled life. When we begin a task it becomes almost impossible to complete. When we have a new idea it has already been thought of and is in use by everyone. In this life we cruse above the speed of sound. I long for the still quiet life. A life that allows me to catch my breath. The Bible speaks of God's peace and so many people are lacking it. on my way to the coffee shop today a person in a little Chevy ran a stop sign in front of me. We no longer have the patience to even obey the laws of the land. We no longer have the patience to be concerned with the well being of others. this is supposed to be a time of giving of gifts and showing each other God's love and peace. Instead we take advantage of others. As I am setting here looking out the window of the coffee shop I see a guy who is walking down the street carrying a cross with a wheel on the back of it. Boy if that would only work. If each of us would walk down the street or where ever we would go with a cross on our backs.
(Mk 8.34—9.1; Lk 9.23—27)
24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me
The Holy Bible : New Revised Standard Version. Nashville : Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1989, S. Mt 16:24

If I could just get peoples eyes off of themselves and back on to the Lord. Life would slow down things might just feel normal if we slowed down and followed Him... How do we get there? When the lord gives me the answer I will let you know!!!
Salutations!!

Drained!

I don't think that I have ever felt like this in my life. I feel like I don't have one once of energy left. I don't know what it is that makes me feel this way. I have been sick for some time but I feel that It is emotional also. I am not sure what to do about it. I cannot seem to shake the cold and headache that I have. I don't feel like working, I don't want to talk to anyone. I can't handle pressure. I wish I felt better. I really just feel drained. I just took some vacation time and now I am back at it. Lord, please help me!

Today is a better day!

I am so glad that I am feeling better. It is terrible when a bug takes over and makes you feel lousy. Something else that I have discovered about myself is that when the sun shines it makes me feel better. Right now the sun is shining through the window and I am laying in bed, typing. I feel better. I feel like the day will not be wasted. Most people who lead productive lives and then they get sick feel like they are letting the world down. That is the way that I felt Sunday. But I think that we get sick so we can be protected from overload. Admittedly I have been in overload for some time now. Hospitals, funerals, burdens, people with problems, worry that I will say and do the right things. Sermon study, the lack of dedicated attenders and servers. Hope that those who are dedicated will not get burned out like me... Oops, did anybody hear that? I guess that I must admit it. I think ahead to the holiday season and I am ready to cry. Planning and problems, ministry on a shoestring with finances. I wish that it was an easier time but it is the task at hand. Here I am bellyaching and I think of Paul in prison, in chains, had been beaten and mistreated. He counted it joy. Joy? I have some things to change. God help me change! I better quit now. This rant has helped me and I guess that I needed to get these things off my chest. I hope that anyone who reads this understands where I am coming from.

My head hurts!

What a great day yesterday. I feel like we really were in celebration mode. 100 yrs. is something to be proud of. The Church of the Nazarene has been a hugh part of my life ever since I was a young boy. As the service continued I felt as though the room spun faster and faster. I wondered why today? Why do I have to get sick today. Their were people there that I wanted to talk to. People that I had not seen in awhile. Now I am out of commission and I feel bad because I was not able to make those contacts and spend some time with people that I wanted to see. I know that their is an enemy that attacks us and makes us weak. That is how I feel. We live in an area that is controlled by Satan. He owns so much property and he is trying to force us out. If you are a leader representing God watch your back. Stay close to God and keep your eyes on Christ. We are in a war! I feel the pressure every single day. I praise God and He is so much stronger than our enemy. I need prayer! More of it and continuously to fight this battle but I feel like prayer comes few and far between. People just are not praying! I need to quit now. My head hurts!

STAND UP AND BE COUNTED

Count off one two, one two, one two. Remember those days when your gym teacher would tell your PYS ED. Class count off one two? I liked that better than choosing two team captains. I don’t know about you but I was always the one that was picked last. It was very degrading as the self proclaimed captain would choose all around you and even pick the girls instead of you. For a guy that was traumatic! Most of the time you would be chosen by your skill level, but there were times it just came down to who your friends were. I guess I liked the fact that if the teacher made us count off one two, one two, at least I would be picked.
In God’s kingdom it is different. We choose to be on His team. We can’t be good enough. We can’t impress Him with our skill because He knows that it will not be enough. If we want to be counted in His number it won’t be one two, one two” It will be following Christ no matter what. When we do follow we find that it is over some rough road sometimes. Sometimes we suffer and sometimes that suffering doesn’t go away for a long time. But when it is all done we can be counted in that number. 2 Thes 1:3-12…