Drained!

I don't think that I have ever felt like this in my life. I feel like I don't have one once of energy left. I don't know what it is that makes me feel this way. I have been sick for some time but I feel that It is emotional also. I am not sure what to do about it. I cannot seem to shake the cold and headache that I have. I don't feel like working, I don't want to talk to anyone. I can't handle pressure. I wish I felt better. I really just feel drained. I just took some vacation time and now I am back at it. Lord, please help me!

Today is a better day!

I am so glad that I am feeling better. It is terrible when a bug takes over and makes you feel lousy. Something else that I have discovered about myself is that when the sun shines it makes me feel better. Right now the sun is shining through the window and I am laying in bed, typing. I feel better. I feel like the day will not be wasted. Most people who lead productive lives and then they get sick feel like they are letting the world down. That is the way that I felt Sunday. But I think that we get sick so we can be protected from overload. Admittedly I have been in overload for some time now. Hospitals, funerals, burdens, people with problems, worry that I will say and do the right things. Sermon study, the lack of dedicated attenders and servers. Hope that those who are dedicated will not get burned out like me... Oops, did anybody hear that? I guess that I must admit it. I think ahead to the holiday season and I am ready to cry. Planning and problems, ministry on a shoestring with finances. I wish that it was an easier time but it is the task at hand. Here I am bellyaching and I think of Paul in prison, in chains, had been beaten and mistreated. He counted it joy. Joy? I have some things to change. God help me change! I better quit now. This rant has helped me and I guess that I needed to get these things off my chest. I hope that anyone who reads this understands where I am coming from.

My head hurts!

What a great day yesterday. I feel like we really were in celebration mode. 100 yrs. is something to be proud of. The Church of the Nazarene has been a hugh part of my life ever since I was a young boy. As the service continued I felt as though the room spun faster and faster. I wondered why today? Why do I have to get sick today. Their were people there that I wanted to talk to. People that I had not seen in awhile. Now I am out of commission and I feel bad because I was not able to make those contacts and spend some time with people that I wanted to see. I know that their is an enemy that attacks us and makes us weak. That is how I feel. We live in an area that is controlled by Satan. He owns so much property and he is trying to force us out. If you are a leader representing God watch your back. Stay close to God and keep your eyes on Christ. We are in a war! I feel the pressure every single day. I praise God and He is so much stronger than our enemy. I need prayer! More of it and continuously to fight this battle but I feel like prayer comes few and far between. People just are not praying! I need to quit now. My head hurts!